Jingle, jingle, jingle. Jingle, jingle, jingle. "Mommy look at my treasure." The box is opened up and the tiny little bell is revealed. The top is carefully put back on after I have admired his "treasure" and the jingling starts over again as he shakes the box - over and over.
Since Kyle made the treasure box at a Christmas gathering I have been thinking about my treasures. What are the things that I treasure and keep in my treasure box?
The Bible tells us:
Matthew 6:19-21
American Standard Version (ASV)
19 Lay not up for yourselves treasures upon the earth, where moth and rust consume, and where thieves break through and steal:
20 but lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust doth consume, and where thieves do not break through nor steal:
21 for where thy treasure is, there will thy heart be also.
Basically, this passage says not to put your value or self worth based on stuff that you own or possess but to possess the things of God over all material goods. So what are some of the treasures of heaven? Galatians has a good answer for us:
Galatians 5:22-23
American Standard Version (ASV)
22 But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, long-suffering kindness, goodness, faithfulness,
23 meekness, self-control; against such there is no law.
These are good treasures to strive for and ask God to improve in us those areas that are weak. I think though that these aren't the only treasures available to us. We do have treasures here on earth, right with us each and everyday but many times we do not view them as treasures. Let me share with you some of the treasures that I have in my heart.
My children:
 |
| Patrick |
Patrick, my eldest, turned 21 in November and it was rather difficult to fully realize that he is actually this old and more to the point that I am old enough to have a 21 yr old child. Of course, this is more likely to happen the younger you start having kids but I digress. I have had the privilege of watching my tiny little baby grow into a honorable young man. Patrick is the first of my children, the one who made me a Mom. He is the one who I learned how to BE a parent and yes, the one I probably made the most mistakes with yet he has turned out well.
David, my redheaded carbon copy in a male body. My second child was born with a cleft lip and palate. We endured countless doctor's appointments and therapies together. Never did I ask "Why me or why him?" I just took a deep breath and did what needed to be done. This doesn't mean that I wasn't fearful or anxious during any of his surgeries, I was, but it means that even though I was scared I relied on God to calm me and also for Him to send the right doctors for his care. David is 14 now and is moody and all things teenager yet he is a joy in my life. I can rely on him to care for his little brother and I can also rely on his God given empathy to shine through. He is such a caring person, sensitive to the moods of others (mostly), and reaches out with a genuine heart of caring to others.
 |
| David and Kyle |
Kyle, the energizer boy. My later in life child. My unexpected gift. An energetic child that exhausts me when I am healthy. He is still growing into the person he will become and there are habits, behaviors that still need to be corrected or at least moderated yet he is a joy of life. Through his eyes I am able to see the wonder of this world that surrounds me from the little bird on our feeder to the ocean crashing on the beach. He sees how wonderfully created this world is and shares that joy with me. In fact, he insists on sharing it with me even if I am otherwise occupied.
My friends:
I have many friends who are praying for me, dropping off dinners, sending me notes of encouragement, hugs when we see each other, and basically share my thoughts,feelings and crazed days with. I cannot name every single one for the post would be gargantuan but there are a few whom I wish to name.
Carmen - the other crazy redhead. She knows me very well and reminds me of things that I sometimes have forgotten about myself. I stayed true to her during a rough time and she is staying true to me during this time. We may not be able to see each other as often as we used to but I know if I needed her she'd be here, rolling up her sleeves and bossing everyone else to get things done. She has seen my growth from a nervous VBS teacher to a friend that she can count on. We are the kind of friends that can pick up where we left off in conversation from visit to visit as if we had just seen each other yesterday.
Molly - She is such a blessing in my life. We have similar backgrounds from our childhoods so we understand each other in ways that others without that background just aren't able to understand. I am so blessed that God brought her into my life through MOPs. When I needed a friend who could help me and my family out with a pretty rough summer she was and is there for me. This relationship was being slowly formed over time and really took flight this summer when we took the relaxed schedule summer gave us and spent time with each other and our friendship blossomed. She has been taking care of Kyle two days a week so that on Mondays, infusion day, I don't have to be stressed about how long it can take and she also takes him on Tuesday to give me a day to rest up from Monday.
 |
Doing crazy things with my son,
my sis Nancy and her Hubby |
Nancy -my sister of my heart. She has known me the longest of all my friends. We "adopted" each other back in 1995 in the parking lot of Walmart and we have been sisters ever since. She knows all my secrets, my ugly history and all the struggles I have been through. She has seen my growth as a Christian, Mom, woman and wife. She lives in Arizona now so we only talk by phone but that doesn't matter we still connect.
My husband:
Fred - the man I never thought I'd ever meet. Truly a gift from God because after my 2nd divorce I was done with men. I was terrible at picking men because I had the uncanny ability to pick losers. After my second divorce I commented to God that I was done picking men, if there was a man out there for me I'd let God pick him. And He did. Fred is my friend, lover, sweetheart, confidant and mate. He is the one I cry on, the one I share my fears with, the one who is strong for me so I can allow myself to be weak. He is the one who tempers my impulsiveness when it tries to be in control. We are different in many ways but very similar in the way we see things. Our marriage vows state "in sickness and in health, for better or for worse" and now we have sickness in our home and we've had better years. Right now, this has been the worst we've been through. There may be worse ahead of us but right now this is the worst we've dealt with. I know that Fred is there for me and I am so grateful for the security of knowing that fact. My treatment isn't any fun for either of us but so far we have stayed true to form, whatever "worse" we've been through we have never let it wedge in between us. We have always faced it side by side hanging onto each other, steadfast in our love for each other and in the provision of God.
My mom and dad:
 |
| Mom and Dad June 2012 |
I would not be who I am without them. Duh. They are/were good parents. They made their fair share of mistakes with me but what parent doesn't. I can look back upon my life and see how they wanted the best for me. They couldn't always afford everything but I didn't want for anything. They love me and that is precious in this age when many parents don't love their kids. They taught me right from wrong, manners, ethics, morality, God and Jesus and so many other things. We have an adult relationship now but I am always their daughter. They mean so much to me it is difficult to put into words.
My grandmother:
 |
| Grandma, Kyle and Aunt Mary |
The true southern woman -iron hand in a velvet glove. I have always admired her and in some ways I was slightly fearful of her as a child. It could be chalked up to a very healthy respect. I still respect her but in a visit in Arizona we had a chance to talk, really talk and share so many things. We stayed up until 2 in the morning and it was worth it because she shared with me some of her struggles and feeling in a way she had never done before. the respect I always had for her changed from fearful respect to honoring respect. I love her with all my heart. I love how she lives her life full of "piss n vinegar". Her age may slow her down a bit but it doesn't stop her.
Parents always hear to treasure the time they have with their children while they are young because kids grow so durn fast. It is true that the time of our children living at home slips by very quickly yet I want to tell you; don't forget to spend time with those in your life whom are older than you. Time slips by equally fast for them and while our children pass into adulthood quickly, our elders pass into death quickly also. One of the greatest regrets I have is that I was not able to be physically closer to my dad. I am grateful that we were able to repair our relationship between us but by that time my life had firmly coalesced on the West Coast and it was not feasible to move closer to my parents. Time flows quickly for us all, young and older, so no matter their age cherish each person that you are blessed to have in your life. Hold them close even when they are far away. There will come a day that they will no longer be in your life whether through death or growing up.
Jesus/God/Holy Ghost are treasures that I have now and will have then in heaven. It is through the gift of Jesus' life and sacrifice that I have access to this abundant treasure and it is through them that I can see the treasures that I currently possess while I am alive here on Earth. I have abundant life with these treasures in my life and I pray I never forget this fact.
Not once have I mentioned a thing, a place or a possession My treasures are all people. The people in my life, those who are in it daily and those who are in it from far away but they are there with me in a myriad of ways. Jesus concentrated on people also. Those looked down upon by society, those derided because of their station or gender, those deemed "not worthy" because of their nationality (Samaritan woman), those who made errors in their life yet wanted to be delivered from it (Matthew) etc. Jesus was fully aware of the treasures of heaven yet in His time on earth He also showed us how to have the treasures of heaven while we live on Earth and they are in the people in our lives. They are in our heart so they are our treasures.
Round 4 of Chemo was very rough for me this time. I had a day where I stayed in bed for the remainder of the day especially since I pushed it earlier in the day. I was pretty sick actually. The next few days I was pretty weak and I had an MRI coming up and I was hoping a very small hope that the doctor would come back and say that I wouldn't need anymore chemo. I really wanted to be done with it especially since round 4 was so bad and I was not looking forward to rounds 5 & 6. The side effect of chemo are cumulative so basically since round 4 was pretty bad, rounds 5 & 6 will be worse. I don't want to go through that. The MRI results were positive. The doctor said about a 50-75% reduction in the size of the tumor. Yea!! Good news!! However, I still have to go through rounds 5 & 6. Bummer. The kicker is if the doctor thought round 4 was enough they still go 2 rounds beyond the effective round as insurance. SIGH. I will do it and I'll get through it. I'm just not looking forward to it. 
Then it hit me this morning, Jesus KNOWS what I am going through. He experienced physical pain when He was beaten. He went through physical weakness when He had to carry the cross down the roadway and to Golgotha. He also experienced reluctance and emotional misgivings/weakness to go through an upcoming painful experience the night in the garden of Gethsemane. He hasn't experienced the exact same things I am going through but He has experienced more than I have. This realization gives me encouragement and strength to continue on even when I don't want to and even though I am dreading the side effects. I can do this. I have to. The treatment is working and I want the cancer gone. So time for a deep breath and a prayer. Monday is round 5 and I will be there. 
