Taste:Water - doesn't taste "right". It still is water but doesn't have the same flavor it used to. I can still drink it if I gulp it down, saving the annoying flavor change for the end. So far I have found that Rain Gatorade, V8 pomegranate/blueberry juice, and soy milk are acceptable liquids that I can drink.
Mashed potatoes - used to be yummy now they are an example of blandsville in all its wondrous glory.
Wheat bread - not really a taste issue but more of a stomach/body rejection issue. Potato bread seems an acceptable substitute.
Cereal - so far all are pretty blah but they are not so blah that I cannot consume them but I definitely eat less of them due to the blah flavor.
Mac n' Cheese (Kraft box) - ick gross can't even get past the smell of it! How depressing - a major comfort food DENIED to me! Gonna have to try and see if the homemade stuff will fill the assignment.
Chicken - this one is strange because fixed some ways it is ok but others it isn't worth it because of the smell or texture it has either in my mouth or when I swallow.
Food is a case by case basis. Sometime food tastes okish but a bit "flat" but I can still eat the dish. The most frustrating aspect of all this is that I think I want something and then when I taste it, I can't eat it. Ergh.
Food not only has to pass the smell test but the taste test also. I really despise throwing food away but with all this sometimes I have no choice, not everyone in the house wants what I have rejected or they have already eaten or they are not home.
Smell - I never know from one day to the next what smell is going to turn my stomach. I have found that most of Patrick soup's tend to smell awful to me. Other smells are interesting and mostly related to how food smells.
Touch - nothing different there except my scalp feels different to me and at times itches like crazy. Today, it is tingling and itchy at the same time and I have discovered that my hair is beginning to fall out. Baldness here I come!
My gastrointestinal processes like to run the spectrum of human possibility. (trying to avoid gross TMI here)
Energy - This is a big one. Morning time seems to be the best for me and I can hold it together until about 2 or 3 pm but then the tired bus hits me head one and a nap is truly desired assuming I can get Kyle settled and occupied long enough so I can have one. The boys and Molly have been a huge help here. I find that after cooking dinner I am worn out IF I have enough energy to actually make it. It is amazing how much energy making dinner uses up!
Insomnia -strikes even when I am tired and usually on a Sunday night -day before infusion. Hmmm might there be a link here?
Is it any wonder that I feel like my body has been hijacked??! If the body is sending out memos to inform me of these changes, the postal service has forgotten my address for delivery.
All these changes are supposed to only last as long as the chemo meds are in my body. So theoretically once the meds are out of my system, all systems/senses should return to normal but sometimes not all the way....and that is a troubling thought.
Eventually all this will go away -I hope- but dealing with it in the meantime can be and many times is very frustrating. It also has a disheartening effect especially when a multitude of these things occur in one day. Certain things are always there and so be it but others like to have a party that gets crashed by unexpected guests. I know I could be having worse things happening side effect wise but this guest list is enough on this body's plate!
I will get through this because there is really no other positive alternative but this particular hayride really is wild! I will just hang on to Jesus and grasp the hands of those around me in my support network, near and far. This reminds me of a scary roller coaster when juuuuuuust before you go over the edge of the hill you take a deep breath and squeeze onto the bar in front of you. This is like that in many ways and on many days, except this is not a ride you get back in line to ride again.
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