Monday was another infusion day but just Herceptin this time which is the biological treatment.  They used my port for the first time and because the flesh around it was still tender and swollen - it HURT!!  They have to hold the port with their fingers while they put the needle in.  Using their fingers also helps them locate the edges of the port.  Ideally, they should get the needle in the center of the port but this time because it was still swollen the nurse got the needle in the edge.  This meant she had to re-position the needle but she still didn't get it quite right and called another nurse over to help.  They finally got it in.  Whew!  In the meantime I was squeezing the volunteers hand like the dickens, tapping my feet like crazy and squeaking because I really wanted to holler and I was also leaking tears.  I think that counts as 3 pokes in one which means I had 4 pokes Monday when you add in the lab poke.

I felt like such a baby while this was going on.  In a moment of weakness I whined, "Can't I be at the end of this treatment??", and in that moment I really felt that and in some ways I still do.  I suppose it is part and parcel of this whole process but I am usually such a strong person and I know I will do what it takes to get to end of this process but right now facing getting punctured EVERY SINGLE WEEK sometimes is a bit too much to take. People tell me one day at a time and yes that is a good thing to do because at time when I look at the entirety of what I am facing is it not a surprise that I am cringing from the whole idea? One day at a time is easy to say but very hard to do at times.

On another note we did manage to get our Halloween decorations up and I am glad.  The decorations are a "normal" occurrence around our house each year and even though I was resigned to the possibility that Halloween decorations may not happen this year, down deep I was ready to be resentful of this cancer robbing me of another normal thing in my life. 




On a happy note, we are planning Kyle's fourth birthday party (his first with friends!) and after vacillating about how best handle this, we decided to have a party at the  golden arches. Mainly because they will do all the work because the Monday before is a chemo infusion and I won't have the energy to do all the running around necessary for a birthday party at home.  

 

Here are some pictures of the short haircut.  They aren't the best but it will give ya'll the basic idea.  I am also sharing another photo of the area where the port was placed but please excuse the quality of the pics. I was still recovering from the surgery and the bathroom walls are yellow so they aren't the best background for anyone.

I do have one request to make of all of you.  My mom is having surgery this Thursday for her cancer.  I am praying that the surgery goes well, the surgeons hands are guided by God, that her recovery goes smooth and she heals quickly and that for her this is the end of her physical cancer journey. God has been so good to both of us.  I told her before I left that I wouldn't be able to come back for her surgery because I was going to be in school. Little did I guess the reality.  However, God has provided her with a support network that is generous and deep and I am grateful for those friends of my mom who are going to be helping her during this time.