I have only been home from my Dad's for 23 days and the weekends have become my insulator from the week.  Normally, they would have been a break from the week like everyone else.  A break from work, school or whatever else takes place for people on a daily basis during the week.  My week involves doctor's visits and new information and decisions that will affect at least the next year of my life immediately and the rest of my life.  So far the weekends have been time to be in a "normal" routine but soon the treatment of my breast cancer will begin and it will have no respect for the fact that it is a weekend.  There will be physical reminders such as the port I need to have put in place or possibly the hair loss that will happen when I begin chemo or the lack of energy or ....the list is long.  These things will not care that it is the weekend but they will work for me rid my body of what can kill me.  I can accept that but it will still be difficult.  I have a long road ahead of me, my life with this diagnosis has taken an off ramp onto another road that was not foreseen or even planned.  There are things that happen to you in life that you can fit into your life and the direction that it currently is heading towards such as a baby or a job change.  I will grant you that there are other detours that are also as life changing and more painful than breast cancer but I am not on one of those flight plans, I am on this one and already the changes that are occurring in my life are truly unforeseen.  Many I will be able to regain but it is the temporary cessation that causes heartache because if it was not for breast cancer there wouldn't be any changes.

Jesus faced adversity in His life and most especially during His ministry here on earth so I know He understands adversity, the only difference is that He KNEW exactly when adverse things would happen and what the outcome would be.  He also knew that His time was extremely limited before He would be facing death.  I don't know what adversity or struggles I have yet to face but I do know this:  I AM NOT ALONE FOR HE IS WITH ME, ALWAYS.  Jesus relied on time alone with God to bolster Him through His trials and Jesus radiated Peace and I know by relying on Him and staying on His path and following Him that Peace that was available to Jesus is also continually available to me. I am promised Peace in His Word: 

Peace I leave with you, My peace I give to you; not as the world gives do I give to you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid. - John 14:27

I fully intend to drink in His peace and wallow in it because only with His peace will I be able to endure this trial of health that is before me.

One person's response to me when I told them of my breast cancer was "Keep the faith".  Someone else tried to explain what they may have meant but to me it is still such a strange response to my news and in many ways it was an indicator to me of how little this person really knows me.  Psalm 57:7 describes my heart and mind: My heart is steadfast, O God, my heart is steadfast; I will sing and give praise.  My faith continues to be strong because I have gone through difficult trials previously and I have survived and made it through only by the grace of God.

I have just returned from the surgeons office and we are embarking on my treatment path.  Next Thursday, Oct 11th, I will be having day surgery to put in my port-a-cath.  I meet with the oncologist this Wednesday and I should hopefully know when I will be starting chemo.  I have decided to do neo-adjuvant treatment first to hopefully shrink the tumor prior to a lumpectomy.  After the lumpectomy will be 5-6 weeks of radiation and then I will be on a couple of different hormone therapies.  It sounds quick but it isn't, this path of treatment can take up to a year or so to accomplish.

Thank you to my friends and family who are praying for me and supporting me and my family in all the little and big ways.  your support, prayers, hugs and comforting words mean so very much to me.  I am eternally grateful for each and everyone of you in my life.